[Noximist]

(Note: If you're unfamiliar with ads for Achaea, this'll make less sense. And if you happen to play/run Achaea and are reading this, I mean this as a playful parody only! )

Hear what the experts are saying about A Dark Portal's New World!

"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."
- Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951)

"A Dark Portal? Isn't that a pub? I heard they serve good beer there."
- KaVir, reknowned pub denizen and creator of GodWars

"A Dark Portal - helping ugly people have mudsex since 1865!"
- Koryon... it's best not to ask

"This MUD like a sex-crazed rabid koala got crossed with a rottweiler on steroids and bit me in the ass! It's just that good!"
- Dulan, who needs medication

As you can see, we have garnered glowing reviews from every sector, and we're not even open yet! Of course, a few good builders - like you? - could get us moving in that direction...

Having known instincively that all MUDs (other than one paragon of MUD-ish perfection) are designed for kindergarteners, the A Dark Portal team had originally endeavored to create the best ages-4-to-6 game ever to exist, but unfortunately, our first test group panned the project. After stating that there were too many big words and demanding juice, Alpha Bits Squad 1 ran away to play on the swings until their moms came to pick them up. We were crushed, but then gathered ourselves up and headed in a new direction.

Now, after several years of development, we're almost there! True, there are no bubblegum colours, talking dinosaurs, laser-equipped robots, or any of the other features our first testers suggested, but our tiered trade systems (from farming to fishing, with forging, smithing, mining, dyeing, and dozens of other possibilities in between, along with over three dozen Guilds catering to different types of magic, combat, thievery, and professional desires - acting, music, etc.), stable base and detailed realm are nearly as good. The world is designed for enforced but enjoyable roleplay, and though the codebase is a
modified ROM, it suits the task quite well. We're within a couple of months of opening for play, but need a few more areas first, which is where you come in!

A few builders would make the task much easier, and in return, we're offering both powerful tools and fun rewards (that is, fun to the type of builders we want - roleplayers, or at least, people who like getting involved in the MUD they work on). Dynamic support for rooms, helpfiles, and mob/player descs, extensive mob/obj/room programs, and literally hundreds of new features added to the standard Ivan's OLC editors allow you to add as much detail as you like, though we'll never force you to use tools you don't wish to. Suggestions are taken seriously by the competent coding staff (*buffs nails*), though the last several dozen ideas have already been in the code, and just not yet discovered by those asking.

We'll teach anyone with the will to learn and the talent to succeed, though we do ask that in return, you stay long enough to complete at least one area as repayment for our time. It's only right!

Talented individuals who prove their worth will be invited to stay on once we open, helping to create and guide plots, play fun characters, and more - tell us what you'd like to do, and we'll do our best to accomodate you. There is no room for power-hungry imm-character-mongerers, people with no literary skills, or people under the age of 9; having been embarassed once, we cater to Big Kids now. We expect a reasonable amount of work to be done, since we'd like to begin testing soon, but quality will always matter more than quantity.

Interested, and not just because we serve good beer (although we do)? You can find our website at http://adarkportal.com, a big list of game features at http://adarkportal.com/nwchanges2.html (nwchangesplain.html for we Mozilla types), and the MUD itself at adarkportal.com port 7005. I hope to see you soon - we're the best MUD in the galaxy, don't you know?

Well, except that one.

-- Noximist and the rest of the A Dark Portal staff who, for better or for worse, are actually this weird.