[Keljorian]

I will take the names out for the sake of the newbie =-).

"Where do I go level at?" newbie
"Um... The newbie school." Keljorian
"Where's that at?" newbie
"North. Didn't you read the room your in? Welcome to the Newbie School." Keljorian

"What's a mud and how do you play?" newbie
"Hit Alt-F4" Keljorian
*newbie hits alt-f4 then signs back on*
"This is fun!" newbie

"I've played on these things before... what do you call them rots?" newbie

[Wenlin]

there has been a weird epidemic of this...at least 3 newbies have done it.

newbie gossips: n

smart people gossips: just n will work, since go is gossip.

newbie gossips: w

Me, being a mage, gates to newbie and tries to explain.

me: Just...n will work, nothing else is needed, you can go west twice (without the go) to get to the newbie school, that'll help.

newbie gossips: w

Me: just west, do it twice.

newbie leaves west, goes east, goes west twice (yay) but he still has to go north to the school, 2w was the entrance.

Me: good, now north to get inside and read the room descriptions.

newbie proceeds to experiment with east and west without saying a word. There was someone else present that was trying to help, we almost decided it was an imm trick; a wandering mob just made to look like a newbie.

We couldn't push him though (pk action) I think we eventually got him in the school...but it was mighty hard

[melopene]

It wasn't a trick.. but now I know what to do to torment you

Also good..

Newbie question 'how do you get off a hourse without jest falling off?'

Newbie question 'How do I send a personal note to everybody?'

[Orion Elder]

Newbie: "Wut's a noobie?!"
Us: "Someone new to the game with little understanding of it."
Newbie: "O! So ur a noobie?!"
Us: "No, you are."
Newbie: "NUH UH! GO TO HELL! LURN TO THINK B4 U TALK!"

My only thought? "Take your own advice."


Newbie: "WUt U meANs I gOts 2 spAK ENILSH 2 Play hERe, IME SPEEKin Enlish!"
Us: "No, you're speaking gibberish."
Newbie: "Wut iS GibBERISH?!"
Us: "Nevermind."
Newbie: "I DUN mINd!"

My only thought? "You left out 'have a' in that last sentence."

[Wenlin]

Originally Posted by (melopene @ May 10 2002,02:35 am) Newbie question 'how do you get off a hourse without jest falling off?'

Melly! Someone just asked that 5 minutes ago! That's cheating, you gotta put it in a quotefile first, then onto TMS!

And anyway, that's a valid question, I had that problem until I dreamt that I was in a world full of strange letters, all of them I, D, S, O, M, U, A, T and N

To this date, I have no idea what it means

[Shao_Long]

different answers about one biggest question on RoD :

Newbie : Whats a reboot ??

Conran chats : The server's restarted..It'll be back on in a minute.
Newbie chats : Why do you need it ?? Cant we just play ??
Conran chats : No..We need to clean system from junk time to time...
Newbie chats : WTH I want to play,what the deal with junk ??
Conran chats : Look..We've been running this mud for ten years,dont you think we know what do we need ??
Newbie chats : But this is stupid ! Reboots suck !
Conran chats : gosh..someone,take care of that newbie,Im an imm after all !!!!
Newbie chats : WTH ?? Whats an imm ??
Shaolong chats : A person who sits and imms all the time..No use from them,but we cant do anything..
Newbie chats : So why dont you kick them all ??
Conran chats : ugh...*sits and imms*
Shaolong chats : Want to see the Hell ??
Newbie chats : WTH ??
Shaolong chats : If you'll continue like that,you'll see yourself *evil grin*
Newbie chats : omfg..Are you serious ?
Muiren chats : did you EVER heard about tells ?
Muadip chats : no no..go on,thats funny
Talmie chats : *cackles* gotta LOVE newbies
Newbie chats : what now is wrong ?

-------

Shaolong chats : Everyone's who doesnt logs out before reboot gots banned..Its to ban inactive chars
Newbie chats : ugh...thanks !
Newbie logs off...

-------

Tian chats : Everyone dies..thats a reboot.
Newbie chats : WTH Who kills them ?
Tian chats : Froghemoth comes for your @$$ !! Runaway !
Newbie chats : WHERE ???
Shaolong chats : lol@Tian !
Muiren chats : rofl !!
Conran chats : caps please
Newbie chats : WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE CAPS ON ?
Conran chats : oh my...*sits and imms away*
Shaolong chats : Newbies ROCK !

------

There were many,MANY more...but those are I have logged myself,and they took place at some time

we all were there...

[Dionae]

You say, 'Just go two west, then follow the rooms north to learn about the basic commands'
Newbie says, 'ok'
Newbie leaves east.

Newbie gossips 'to bed'

Newbie asks, 'Why are you teaching me?'
You say, 'Cause I'm nice'
You snicker softly.
Newbie says, 'I see'

Newbie gossips 'i have been fighting the practice dummy for 2 days'

Newbie question 'Could Gretan get another newbie pack?? I melted alot of his stuff in the arena with this hammer I didnt know it did that'

Newbie question 'what does torpor do?'
Someone answers 'puts someone to sleep'
Someone quotes 'Newbie slumps over in a torpor.'
Newbie answers 'I used it on myself'

[melopene]

Newbie quotes 'can the newest newbie have a newbie pack for newbies that act like newbies but arent newbies and want to be newbies that think their newbies but fart on newbies. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee end'

Newbie says, 'im just looking for a good time hot muffins'
[Salja]: ROFL he called you hot muffins
Mandrake asks, 'why the pre-pubescent fantasy crap on our game?'
[Dionae]: Hey, I'm not a twink
[Salja]: i'm going to call you hot muffins from now on, mike.
[Dionae]: Hot muffins
Newbie says, 'because the thought of doing it in such a public place makes me hot'
[Mandrake]: I am hott muffins, 2 T's please

[TheDemonMaster]

while on the mud i heard this line:

Oh my god! The clown is trying to be my best friend!

That was over ooc and i do not even wanna know what the clown was doing.

[Alexei]

My three top newbie quotes:

#3
Newbie: I'm not a newbie
(30 seconds later) Newbie: What's a scroll?

#2
Newbie: Give me some stuff or I'll log off

#1
Newbie: I die more here than I do on cs

[thelenian]

%%> % color
%What ?
%> % colour
%What ?
%> % l
%Purgatory
You stand now in the plane of existence to which all souls come before they
take on the mortal form, and to which they return when the form finally deserts
them once more. The plane extends out in all directions from here, before
disappearing into the extremities of the void. One thing catches your gaze
above all else in this formless existence, a great pool of light that radiates
strongly out into the darker regions, and for some reason you feel that your
destiny lies here. It is well lit here.
%There are no obvious exits.
%a sign, and another sign.
%> % help color
%The following help topics might have what you seek:
% % * set term% % % % %
%% set term
%Your terminal type is not set.
%Available terminal settings: ansi, vt100.
%> % set term ansi
%Usage: set to
Ya gotta have the 'to' in there, or it just ain't gonna work!
%> % l
%Purgatory
You stand now in the plane of existence to which all souls come before they
take on the mortal form, and to which they return when the form finally deserts
them once more. The plane extends out in all directions from here, before
disappearing into the extremities of the void. One thing catches your gaze
above all else in this formless existence, a great pool of light that radiates
strongly out into the darker regions, and for some reason you feel that your
destiny lies here. It is well lit here.
%There are no obvious exits.
%a sign, and another sign.
%> % set term to asni
%You can set term to: ansi, vt100.
%> % l
%Purgatory
You stand now in the plane of existence to which all souls come before they
take on the mortal form, and to which they return when the form finally deserts
them once more. The plane extends out in all directions from here, before
disappearing into the extremities of the void. One thing catches your gaze
above all else in this formless existence, a great pool of light that radiates
strongly out into the darker regions, and for some reason you feel that your
destiny lies here. It is well lit here.
%There are no obvious exits.
%a sign, and another sign.
%> % set term to asni
%You can set term to: ansi, vt100.
%> %
%> % asni
%What ?
%> % set term to asni,
%You can set term to: ansi, vt100.
%%Raven tells you: 'a_n_s_i'
% reply Thanks
%That person is not in the room.
%> % set term a_s_n_i
%Usage: set to
Ya gotta have the 'to' in there, or it just ain't gonna work!
%%Raven tells you: 'stands for American National Standards Institute'
> % set term to a_s_n_i
%You can set term to: ansi, vt100.
%%Raven bows.
> % l
%Purgatory
You stand now in the plane of existence to which all souls come before they
take on the mortal form, and to which they return when the form finally deserts
them once more. The plane extends out in all directions from here, before
disappearing into the extremities of the void. One thing catches your gaze
above all else in this formless existence, a great pool of light that radiates
strongly out into the darker regions, and for some reason you feel that your
destiny lies here. It is well lit here.
%There are no obvious exits.
%a sign, and another sign.
%> % tell raven Thanks
%That person is not in the room.
%%Raven says, 'ansi... a N S i'
%Raven says, 'not asni'
> ez
What ?
> wz
> % set term to a n s i
%You can set term to: ansi, vt100.
%Raven shimmers into visibility.
% bow
%You bow.
%> % say Sorry.
%You say, 'Sorry.'
> force newbie to set term to ansi
%Terminal set to ansi.
> % say First time here.
%You say, 'First time here.'
%> % l
%Purgatory
You stand now in the plane of existence to which all souls come before they
take on the mortal form, and to which they return when the form finally deserts
them once more. The plane extends out in all directions from here, before
disappearing into the extremities of the void. One thing catches your gaze
above all else in this formless existence, a great pool of light that radiates
strongly out into the darker regions, and for some reason you feel that your
destiny lies here. It is well lit here.
%There are no obvious exits.
%a sign, and another sign.
Raven the troll.
%> %Raven says, 'No problem.'
%Raven grins trollishly.
> % beam
%What ?
%> % smile
%You smile.
%> % l
%Purgatory
You stand now in the plane of existence to which all souls come before they
take on the mortal form, and to which they return when the form finally deserts
them once more. The plane extends out in all directions from here, before
disappearing into the extremities of the void. One thing catches your gaze
above all else in this formless existence, a great pool of light that radiates
strongly out into the darker regions, and for some reason you feel that your
destiny lies here. It is well lit here.
%There are no obvious exits.
%a sign, and another sign.
Raven the troll.
%> % say Color!
%You exclaim, 'Color!'
%> % hop
%You hop like a frog.
%Raven grins.
%Raven says, 'Read the signs... they'll get you started. Good luck.'
% l
%Purgatory
You stand now in the plane of existence to which all souls come before they
take on the mortal form, and to which they return when the form finally deserts
them once more. The plane extends out in all directions from here, before
disappearing into the extremities of the void. One thing catches your gaze
above all else in this formless existence, a great pool of light that radiates
strongly out into the darker regions, and for some reason you feel that your
destiny lies here. It is well lit here.
%There are no obvious exits.
%a sign, and another sign.
Raven the troll.
%Raven waves.
%Raven melts into a shadow and is gone.

[Alaire]

On an rp enforced mud where pkilling is possible, but the society is seriously against murder or killing in any form:

The silly, braindead newbie says in Towskish:
'Where's all the stuff to kill???'

[Kyrie]

Originally Posted by (Alaire @ June 20 2002,7:16 pm) On an rp enforced mud where pkilling is possible, but the society is seriously against murder or killing in any form: The silly, braindead newbie says in Towskish:   'Where's all the stuff to kill???'

Heh, Alaire, this one burns a hole in my eyes but i saved it:P
By far my favorite

The cornsilk-blonde elven lass emotes : Exit, stage right!.
The cornsilk_blond elven lass goes east
The lithe elven women with violet eyes says ooc: Oh dear god
The lithe elven women with violet eyes rubs her temples.

[TheDemonMaster]

Heres another good couple of lines:

[Newbie] Why can't i get any exp from this mob?

[Immortal] Cause the mob does not like you?

[Newbie] Why doesn't it like me?

[Immortal] Take a look at yourself.

Newbie looks at himself and shakes his head.

[Immortal] Go put some clothes on!

[Enzo]

A newbie says, "How do I RP?"

That alone stand for itself.

-Enzo

[anathema]

Newbieline: "I just accidently broadcasted a message on the Satai Guild line, what do I do?"

[Alice]

[newbie] Ming: help im dying of thirst and cant figure out how use my canteen.
[newbie] Gwenyth: open it.
[newbie] Eagleon: Get it from your pack, open it, and drink.
[newbie] Ming: how do i get it from my pack ?
[newbie] Gwenyth: take canteen from backpack.
[newbie] Ming: its open and i can see the canteen.
[newbie] Ming: no its in the satchel.
[newbie] Gwenyth: ok, take canteen from satchel.
[newbie] Ming: i tried that it didnt work.
[newbie] Gwenyth: erm...
[newbie] Dia: drop satchel, get canteen from satchel, open canteen, drink from canteen.
[newbie] Ming: ok
[newbie] Ming: some woman just took my canteen !!!

[Santrilla]

Don't know if this counts, but it's mighty funny anyway. In Dark Age of Camelot (a P2P MMORPG), you can get horses to other towns. Getting on is automatic and the horse runs along the road- without any provocation from you- straight to the very end of the road without stopping. It passes through all the towns, kind of like a tram.

I was standing at a merchant when I saw a horse run past and heard this:

[Newbie] yells 'HELP ME I CAN'T GET OFF THIS HORSE I WANTED TO GET OFF FOUR TOWNS AGO HELP ME PLEASE'

Many, many laughs.

[John]

LMAO!

Here is my only newbie quote from an RP enforced mud:

newbie says in sirihish "I'm starting to understand this IC/OOC thing"

[Dionae]

I just found this really cute...

Someone asks, 'how do I become uninvisible?'

[Alaire]

"How did I get in jail?"
"Well, what were you doing before you got thrown in there?"
"Nothing...."
"Hm. Let me check. "
"Oh, I did backstab the blonde elven boy"

[Amnon]

a newbie gossips, "how do i gossip?"

[CSmith_Fan]

to keep the not-so-innocent protected the name Newbie is being used

Ok..had this like 5 minutes ago..

Newbie gossips : What's better at my level? This iron helm or a chain mail coif?

Me gossips : Buy a scroll of Identify and find out

Newbie Gossips : But dont those cost like 2000 gold each?

Me : Nope...1000 each

Newbie Gossips : Well, I'm not in that much of a hurry to find out I guess

Me : You could always check Score while wearing each to see what AC they give...

Newbie gossip : That's a great idea! Thanks!

(then I go off to a !Gossip !Tell room and relax in silence)

Mind you..this is from the same one who :
A. died at the Eastern Gate and couldnt find his corpse in a stock Midgaard and still got lost with accurate directions given from Recall
B. Spent over 58K in gold at level 20 (which is alot for that level in the MU* I frequent) on stuff he really didnt need. Example below..
Newbie :"What's a quill pen do?"
Me: "Nothing"
Newbie : "Oh, so I just spent 1000 gold on nothing?"
Me : "You cold RP with it..."
Newbie : "What's RP?"
Me <wanders off for a slap>

[Maelgrim]

This got a laugh...

Newbietheif looks at Oldplayer

Newbietheif says, "Excuse me sir? A moment of your time?"

Oldplayer looks at Newbietheif

Oldplayer smiles

Oldplayer says, "Yes? What can I do for you?"

Newbietheif says, "Can I steal from you?"