(Oldbies , for those who don't know, are players that have been playing for past a period of 5 years,kinda non stop)

How many oldbies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five oldbies, a newbie, and a newbie helper.
A newbie helper to help a newbie actually screw it in and five oldbies to complain about how good it was when the light was out.

(Just funny)

Reix wisps: My monkey giggles when I squeeze it.
Feet wisps: Err, that's Elmo, Reix.
Aerk wisps: Reix's monkey is big and red and looks like Drakkos.
Reix wisps: I find your obsession with my monkey disturbing, Aerk.
Aerk wisps: I will have it, one day soon!

(this is what happens on late nights and every oldbie on the chat channel is feeling really stupid and tired)

TuBBy wisps: i LiKe ThAt BoUlDeR...tHaT iS a NiCe BoUlDeR...
Maelin wisps: It either says lktabudrhtsncbudr or it says iiehtoletaiaieole
Warrax wisps: I think the second has more hidden meaning.
Maelin wisps: Hang on...
Maelin wisps: supposing we took those two seemingly meaningless strings of letters, and we interlaced them?
Warrax wisps: My god, I think you may be on to something!
Maelin wisps: Then we would get ether likiteahbtuodlrehttasinacibeuodlre, or ilikethatboulderthatisaniceboulder
Maelin wisps: I think we've picked up something here!
Warrax wisps: Hmmm, try putting the first phrase backwards!
Maelin wisps: Say we read that first one backwards... erldouebicanisattherldoutbhaetikil
Warrax wisps: My god, the last three letters are 'kil'! We've discovered the secret!
Warrax wisps: Tubby is going to .... kill the patrician!
Maelin wisps: If we read that message by taking every two letters and then flipping them and putting it all back together again, we get: redluobecinasitahtredluobtahtekili
Maelin wisps: LooK! The last foor letters are Kili! Tubby is going to murder Kili!
DrSurd wisps: thats a good thing, good for you tubby

(How to scare newbies)
(newbie) Bazza: anyone know how to play this game?
Pupazz wisps: Just show the whites of your eyes, and boom "Get Thee Away From This Sanctuary Of The Dark Lord, Mortal!" then chase them around cackling.
Maelin wisps: Ridiculous. A human head wouldn't bounce.
Pupazz wisps: ...Nonlethal? We dont deal in that kind of thing. Try the MUD down the street.

(a lazy bodyguard)
A troll bodyguard and a fat merchant are standing here.
You prepare to attack a fat merchant.
You skewer the fat merchant with your stiletto.
You perforate the fat merchant with your stiletto.
You killed the fat merchant.
The troll bodyguard checks for a potential danger