Terrifying creature. The creature appeared to have no substance, it's form was a dark shadow, two glowing red slits stood in the place of its eyes. Shadowstrike recognized this creature as a wraith. The wraith carried with it a razor-sharp...

...tongue with which it berated and criticized Shadowstrike with a complete lack of pity. Shadowstrike was driven to his knees by the force of the accusations as a naked elf danced around the bodies of the dead troopers. Filled with terror by wraithe and elf, Shadowstrike looked to his ring and uttered a wish...

"I want another strawberry milkshake!" He practically shouted. The ring glowed and a lovely blueberry milkshake appeared in front of him. "Blueberry!" Shadowstrike thought, "I...

LOVE BLUEBERRY MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!" Shadowstrike quickly gulped down the blueberry shake. Revitalized from the magical powers of the blueberry shake, Shadowstrike drew his crimson vorpal blade and sliced the wraithe asunder. With a piercing shreik, the shadowy form dissolved. Shadowstrike, his shining blade still drawn, then turned his attention to the naked dancing elf. In an angered tone, Shadowstrike shouted at the elf, "Idiot, why do you dance about like a fool?" The naked elf stopped his dancing, looking over at Shadowstrike, and replied plainly...

...Lle au'. Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha." Then he waved and disapeared in the way all elves do when they want to appear strange and mystical. Shadowstrike...

(translation:

confused as ever, looked into his travelling pack and pulled out a language dictionary to translate the strange elf's words. After finally figuring out what the elf had said, Shadowstrike uttered a wish into his ring, "I wish to travel to a wonderous, far away land so that I might find glory..." with that, he was whisked away to..

a trailer park in Texas. A deep booming voice said, "Rescue the women of this place from prostitution, and glory shall be yours." Shadowstrike looked around him and saw...

Giant, barbaric looking creatures known as trailor trash. Each creature had mullets, including what appeared to be the females of the species. Some creatures carried shotguns, others carried beer cans. A common trait was their terrible lack of grammer usage and thick accents. The trailor trash creatures advanced on Shadowstrike stating, "Ya'll see that thar thang? It's a little pointy eareded kid. Let's...

tickle him 'til he squeals like a hog on a hot plate.' Shadowstrike pulled out Fluffikins, his poisoned dagger, and slit the throats of every single creature in the park. Including the dog. As the final breath escaped the final throat, a booming voice shouted, "

..."Come out of the trailor with your hands up. We have you surrounded." Shadowstrike cautiously peeked out the window and shouted back...

"But I have no hands!" For you see, Shadowstrike's hands had fallen off while slitting the throat of the trailor trash. He picked them up off the floor and stuck them on his head, walking out of the park.

...For you see, the Dark Lord of the Ring of Unlimited Wishes had started to take hold of Shadowstrike's mind, making him do evil things such as killing multitudes of people though not but a month ago he was trying to rid the world of evil. The officer seeing that it was a half-elf (and that it had no hands)
gasped. Shadowstrike seeing himself in as bad a predicament as he had ever been in used his stubs and raised the hand with the ring to his lips and whispered a wish...

"I want a strawberry milkshake!" Sure enough, a milkshake appeared right above the head of the Police Chief and dropped on his head...

[EDIT: Actually, Shadowstrike's a dark elf.]

... who was allergic to kiwis and began to break out into a coughing fit because the milkshake was really strawberry-kiwi and had evolved the ability to enter skin pores. Shadowstrike knew that strawberry-kiwi milkshakes were evil so his sense of justice...

told him to ask for a banana milkshake instead. He did so. However, the ring was allergic to bananas and promptly exploded! Shadowstrike decided the best thing to do was

[EDIT 28/10/02: OK, that was a dumb comment. Never mind..]

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, another character's live turned into the spotlight...

...meanwhile you get slapped repeatedly for using this thread instead of the one in Forum Games where it belongs.

*grumbles at Terloch and Santrilla* A little elve jumps into screen and farts in their general directions.

THE END

HERE's an ALTERNATIVE ENDING.

taking a time orb out of his portal of s2pid stuff, he went back to the past...an appeared back at the place where he killed those cutesy animals. (Looks like he got bored and went for another round.)

....the booming voice shouted; "Mother of Moicy!... Is this the end of Rico??".  Actually, the booming voice belonged to the dying dog.  

So our murderous anti-hero searches for another loser to kaput.  He asked himself; "How about that irritaing guy who spammed me in that inn with that pixie harlot? Yeah, I'll put their noggins next to the deer head in my living room!"

He smiled just thinking about it.

And off he went.