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shadowfyr · 04-04-2003, 03:08 PM

> Take ANY example of when "you" is used in a room description and I'll show you an alternative way to describe it without using "you".

How about this. It is a room item in my player house rather than a room description from an actual true area, but I challenge you to remove all the 'you' uses in it and still make it have the same impact as was intended:

--
As you gaze upon the model, you see a small town. Around the
edges of the town are five points of colored light, blue, white,
green, yellow and red. However, your attention is drawn to a
lone patch of darkness at the towns center. Suddenly you experience
a sense of disorientation, as you are swallowed by shifting shadows
and then just as suddenly find yourself standing on a desolate plain.

Before you, upon the top of a raised plateau, rests the ghostly
apparition of a dark and forboding castle, but once more your gaze
is drawn away, this time upward to the sky above the castle, until
you find yourself staring at a pair of glowing eyes, set
within a shapeless form of shadow. You feel such a sudden sense
of keen interest and extreme malice radiating from the shadow form
that you can't help but scream in terror and lose consciousness.

You awaken on the floor next to the model.
--

So, since the player has to initiate the result, is it permissable? If the player later finds the castle and there is no shadowy form, they can worry or shrug it off at leisure, but the point is to drive home the nature of what is being seen and in the case of a mud you don't have a picture to replace the thousand words needed to engender the proper response.

In most cases though, I have to agree. Using 'you' can be avoided and should be if it forces perspective. However, it is silly to do, 'The trail ends here. To the south is a shear drop.' if you -know- that the only way they could have gotten there was from the north (it being a dead end) and you could have used 'You follow the trail south to where it dead ends at a shear drop.' What, someone might mark that for a teleport location, so you shouldn't use the active version?

Forcing the abandonment of 'you' is a good sign that you don't have anyone willing to do quality control and if someone isn't checking every room, object and item, then odds are worse mistakes are going to crop up than a bad use of 'you'. Where I play the entry to one sub area will sometimes fault the first time you try to enter do to a bug and another room in the same general areas won't even load until the mob inside spawns the first time, which since the area spawns on a delay means a 1/2 hour or more after a reboot. At the time it was made no QC was ever done and the original creator has left along with most of the original staff that made the mud. The only people who have the authority to fix them are too busy doing more critical changes or QCing new areas. Banning 'you' is an excuse to not do a good job of checking quality and leaving it to the players to complain about what is wrong and may possibly never get fixed, do to everyone being 'to busy', not a solution.

04-04-2003, 03:08 PM	#19
shadowfyr Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 310	> Take ANY example of when "you" is used in a room description and I'll show you an alternative way to describe it without using "you". How about this. It is a room item in my player house rather than a room description from an actual true area, but I challenge you to remove all the 'you' uses in it and still make it have the same impact as was intended: -- As you gaze upon the model, you see a small town. Around the edges of the town are five points of colored light, blue, white, green, yellow and red. However, your attention is drawn to a lone patch of darkness at the towns center. Suddenly you experience a sense of disorientation, as you are swallowed by shifting shadows and then just as suddenly find yourself standing on a desolate plain. Before you, upon the top of a raised plateau, rests the ghostly apparition of a dark and forboding castle, but once more your gaze is drawn away, this time upward to the sky above the castle, until you find yourself staring at a pair of glowing eyes, set within a shapeless form of shadow. You feel such a sudden sense of keen interest and extreme malice radiating from the shadow form that you can't help but scream in terror and lose consciousness. You awaken on the floor next to the model. -- So, since the player has to initiate the result, is it permissable? If the player later finds the castle and there is no shadowy form, they can worry or shrug it off at leisure, but the point is to drive home the nature of what is being seen and in the case of a mud you don't have a picture to replace the thousand words needed to engender the proper response. In most cases though, I have to agree. Using 'you' can be avoided and should be if it forces perspective. However, it is silly to do, 'The trail ends here. To the south is a shear drop.' if you -know- that the only way they could have gotten there was from the north (it being a dead end) and you could have used 'You follow the trail south to where it dead ends at a shear drop.' What, someone might mark that for a teleport location, so you shouldn't use the active version? Forcing the abandonment of 'you' is a good sign that you don't have anyone willing to do quality control and if someone isn't checking every room, object and item, then odds are worse mistakes are going to crop up than a bad use of 'you'. Where I play the entry to one sub area will sometimes fault the first time you try to enter do to a bug and another room in the same general areas won't even load until the mob inside spawns the first time, which since the area spawns on a delay means a 1/2 hour or more after a reboot. At the time it was made no QC was ever done and the original creator has left along with most of the original staff that made the mud. The only people who have the authority to fix them are too busy doing more critical changes or QCing new areas. Banning 'you' is an excuse to not do a good job of checking quality and leaving it to the players to complain about what is wrong and may possibly never get fixed, do to everyone being 'to busy', not a solution.