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Strange, I've had an excellent experience from day one, with a few minor bumps along the way (but what game doesn't have good and bad days?).
I was actually going to write a glowing reccomendation for Lusternia, but I'll comment on your post instead.
It is a pity that your experience wasn't what you'd hoped for, and I as a senior player feel bad any time anyone deems that their time is not well spent in the game. However, I am a firm believer that it excells in many areas that you spoke about wanting, and the areas you did not want were not a problem.
I'm not sure what the circumstances were around your character's treatment, but I find that the majority of the players stick to their roles, even if they are not actively roleplaying. So yes, if you joined my home of Glomdoring, you would not be welcomed by most Serenwilders, just as certain real people would not be welcome in some areas of the world. They have very real viewpoints, biases, and prejudices.
However, this thread is about you looking for a home, and it's not about me defending mine. If you should with to give Lusternia another try, do look me up, and perhaps you'll become attatched to some of the players I've come to enjoy.
If you find yourself looking elsewhere, I wish you luck. After all, these are games, and this is what we do in our free time to have fun.
-marc
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