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Or is it simply a matter of ...
And yes, I am tempting the fates here ...
... the shadow of a much more basic and obvious principle - that the ability to play a cross-gendered character is simply based on the ability of a particular person to roleplay or gamemaster? For the argument can be certainly made (and i think it already has) that a guy presenting a less than stellar guy-stereotype can be just as unnerving as a guy presenting a poor gal-stereotype.
And yes, one component of all this is understanding which roles one steps into well and which ones they don't.
Mikkel
Who, after over twenty five years of gaming STILL can't play a magic user without falling flat on his face ...
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