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Old 05-06-2003, 01:54 PM   #4
Ingham
 
Posts: n/a
I'd sooner believe Mr. Mohamed Saeed Al-Sahaf then anything wrriten by GameSpy. At least Mr Al-Sahaf only proclaims bull**** and doesn't try to install spyware on my PC and sell data to "valued partners" and other corporate sell-outs. Also, I can talk to Mr Al-Sahaf without giving him my name, email adress, phone number, shoe size, sexual orientation and my social security number just to be able to hear him rant.

Also, MS MMORPGs ought to be funny. The game would technically run on Win98 with Direct 6 or so, but a bunch of nice installation script will enforce you to use Directx 10 (diabolical EULA included) with Windows Longhorn (EULA included and available for you to read as soon as you for over 500 USD). After that, the game will install, cry havoc a few times as it devours HD space like a black hole and generally annoy you a long time because MS installs always take ages for some reason. Okay, but after numerous reboots, driver errors, a few random oddities and enough swearing to launch the Vatican into Martian orbit, you can play the game...

If you for over another 29,95 USD initial sign up costs ofcourse. ####, you got money to waste and you do fork over the money. You pay securely via MS Passport and get a login name and password with which you can log in to your character, along with 1.500.000 other people who can be bother to crack their way into the poorly secured MS Passport database to run of with either your char, your CC number or both. After a bit of trying around, and getting used to controls, you decide to attack something, picking a nice little mouse to charge at with your iron short sword. All is fine and well untill suddenly a 5 minute long non-interruptable animation pops up in which a paperclip happily introduces himself as your helpful guide to your new games as your character is being slaughtered by a mouse chewing through your kneecaps. After trying to close the paperclip for ages, causing him to ask roughly 30 times wether you really want him to go, you finally succeed and get rid of it, focussing your attention back on your character who is now finally making Mickey Mouse filet!

The game continues with the occasional hickup. Every item you pick up causes a 349 page long EULA to pop up in front of your nose which you happlessly click away. Accepting the EULA grants MS your car, your house, your significant other and your first born, while declining the EULA kicks you out of the game, bans you, labels you as a potential terrorist with the FBI and reserves some nice single flight ticket toward Guatanamo Bay for you. Some leveing up later, you come across a hidden plot in the game, which takes you directly to an area worse then ####, where the insidious order called OSS (Ordo Sceleris Seclorum -- World Order of Villiany) has taken hold of the citadel called IBM (Insidious and Blaphemous Monastery) where the evil overlord Li-Nus "Satan" Torvaldus plans to take over the world.

Just before entering the area, Windows freezes and requires another quarter, causing you to die and loose all your equipment. Woo!

(The word "h-e-l-l" is censored?)
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