To change this, generally, I think society in general needs to change.
Oddly, though, I actually find that on the roleplaying games I run, we often get players who assume female roles that, thematically, shouldn't exactly be firebrands but turn out to be radically outside the social norm of the game. In a society where women mostly wear dresses and speak gently, we've got female characters who wear pants and talk tough.
We've also got the occasional male character who's either an antihero or an outright cad.
But we've also got the flirty girls and the guys who want to always be heroes.
I think it varies from game to game and depends upon the environment and attitudes fostered/encouraged by the staff and, more importantly, the abundance of players in a game.
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