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I think the standard answer for this one is: that's why it's called roleplaying. We can't use our experiences directly if a dragon attacks us, or someone throws a fireball at us either, and yet we extrapolate: this makes me frightened like this thing in my life, that makes me angry like those other things.
I think it requires a bit more extrapolation that's a little less clear-cut to cross-gender, especially in very segregated IC societies, and often that's harder or a step people are unwilling to take. I don't think that it's valid to say that it's possible to roleplay a starving peasant with the plague, however, and not someone of the other gender.
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