IC/OOC distinction troubles! Yes, definately a problem for a lot of people. Especially when the first start RPing. The key, I think, to overcoming this problem is for people to understand that RP is not a competitive activity. The player is not the character, and when the success of the character does not indicate a successful player. The 'goal' of a player on an RP-based MU* should NOT be the advancement of their character, but rather the advancement of the STORY, in which their character plays a role. If players can be said to compete at all, it is only a competition to tell the best story. When players can transfer their attacment to the story instead of to their character, IC/OOC problems tend to disappear because players realize that bad IC things happening to their character can be great OOC things happening for the player. IC disasters are OOC blessings that allow players to tell better stories with their characters.
The question then becomes "how do you achieve attachment to the story instead of to the character." I tend to take the complete opposite approach to this that Vesper endorses. While completely eliminating OOC channels and communication sounds like a good way to force players to act only on IC motivations, I think it actually tends to force players to dwell too much on their character. Since you only see other characters, you tend to equate the characters with their players. If a player is controlling a character that your character ICly hates, you as a player feel like you should hate them, because you've seen nothing to differentiate the player from the character. If, on the other hand, OOC communication lines are open at all times, it is much easier to tell the difference between the evil villain character and his actually-quite-nice player.
That's not to say that players should spend all their time on OOC channels and never RPing. Obviously the IC actions are what really matter. But OOC communication between players can help the story progress by getting all players involved on the same page and working together, even when their characters are working against each other. RP is a team activity, and a team can't work together without communication. Even when two characters are trying to kill each other, the players behind the characters should be working together to make the scene as interesting as possible. This doesn't apply as much to PvsP MU*s, where the focus is on coded systems that encourage competition between players, but it is key on RP-based MU*s where the story is the focus.
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