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I don't think it's possible either. There are just things that can be done to lessen the likelihood. On the other side of things, I've seen people absolutely set themselves up for a nightmare by picking an unstable RP partner, then leading them on OOC and then wondering why it got out of control.
Communication IS good. I do recommend making it clear what you're doing whenever there's a question. If it seems like the person you're RPing with is not going to be able to withstand some clear discussion of the RP, that's a warning sign right there.
I've found since I've been very careful about presenting my goals clearly and choosing RP partners that seem stable and understood that they were there for a story, I've had very close to zero trouble. I've had lots of great relationship RP for years using that method. One of them is an IC marriage that's lasted for three years and counting.
---Brett
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