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I have to say that I think the "Do you DARE enter?" bit ruins the ad.
The rest of it is a really cool and well-written advertisement, and you're to be commended on that... but, man. You have all this great, flowing description that does a fantastic job of drawing the reader in, followed by one cheesy line that most twelve-year-olds playing hack-and-slash D&D in their parents' basement would have too much maturity and creative style to utter.
Next time, lose that and it makes the whole thing that much more engaging.
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