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Back in the days when I used to work on other people's games I had some of the same experiences that you have had so I know how frustrating they can be.
There is a lot of Ego involved in running a game and many people just do not handle the power well at all. About half the people I have ever met who wanted to run a Mud wanted to do so not to create a great game for their players but so that "I will be God this time!"
If you are going to look for a preexisting Team to join I suggest you do what I used to do: interview them just as heavily as they interview you. Ask them about their leadership style (if they do not have an answer that is probably trouble) and most importantly, ask to talk to at least a few of the other Staff.
Everyone will want to tell you about the great new feature that was just added, or how many players they have active, and a lot of other things that do not really matter at this stage. Ask them about communication, how well does the team work together? What you really want to know is if this is a Team at all, or just a collection of indivduals working mostly solo on a common project.
There are people out there with real leadership and people skills, but they are the minority without a doubt.
And I do have to agree with one of the previous posters, running a Mud without a talented Coder (at least) is a really, really tough road.
A.T
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