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I'm going to sidestep the question of perma death, because I'm a proponant of you die, game over. I don't agree that you invest your time and when the pc dies you lose all your hard work. I mean you can't take that work out of the mud and spend it like money. The only thing you get is the enjoyment of the game. My enjoyment is heightened by the transential and ephemeral preciousness of of life, and the finality of death.
But anyway, the point is there's no way to give everyone exactly what they want. If you compromise too much your product becomes diluted. I think in the question of realism vs. inconvenience the answer should be, what is it I want to create, and what inconvience is necessary to realize that goal. If your audience is people who like perma death, then build to that audience.
Short answer: You can't please everyone.
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