[Bogre]

You sound like you need to play Armageddon.

Experienced players there actually go out of their way to -not- kill other players, especially those who are obviously newbies. What's the fun of killing off your antagonists? For instance- I just recently killed a player in game, my first in about two real life years, and unfortunately due to my characters race/IC circumstance it was necessary. In those same two years I have had many, many IC conflicts, combat with other players, political manuevering, and of course some panicked fleeing and everything in between. But the far and beyond majority of conflict did not end in death of characters. My characters have also labored next to others, protected others, and spent time and effort to keep their friends alive.

It's not stressful- you can play a long, easy life if you make a guardsman in some noble house with free food and water. I at the moment tend to play peripheral flavor characters- the ones who live in the fringes and show up for interactions when the other PC's wander to their edge of existence, and that requires a lot less play-time. The game is intensive, though, so you may find yourself falling into a really passionate place about your character and their story: that's quite normal.

Armageddon does have strict social structure, however, and open rebellion often leads to swift action, so one word of caution: if you like playing a back-talking, sarcastic hero type, you'd better a) buy, steal or manuever yourself into a position of power before you do, or b) do so in a lawless place, with people who aren't going to sell you out, etc. I've seen nobles get blown up before by nasty assassins, ancient and powerful mages be taken down by coordinated groups of soldiers, I've seen bright and hardy soldiers taken out by a tribal's arrow from afar: the mighty can always topple in Armageddon, but nothing but the sand and sun come easy.

Give it a try.