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Old 07-28-2002, 03:24 AM   #1
Alajha
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I found this particular MUD one day, totally random. I joined it, worked very hard, and, through a special application that took about a month, my character was given rare skills and powers.
I was playing her for a good while. But my personality seemed to clash with most of the other mudders there. Eventually, it was such a bad situation that I knew I had to leave.
But, I mean, you can't just leave, can you? There are those people that I love who weren't logged on and who I wouldn't get to say goodbye to, as well that I was in the middle of a few major RPs. And I knew in my heart that I would be seen as the badguy for deleting.
But, what was more important? My own wellfare, or that of a few plots'?
In the end (just a few seconds ago, actually) I chose myself. I've been kicked off of about three MUD's now, because I knew that I had to leave and I couldn't bring myself to type "delete <password>" and just leave. How can you? And this character was very rare, very strong. I had worked alot... so, isn't that the final temptation? Give up what you most wanted for peace of mind? I'll never again worry about logging into that place, that sick dread when I typed my char's name, but.... what exactly is it that I'm going to miss?
Oddly enough, one of the head IMM's that I didn't get along with and I were talking before I deleted. We were telling each other exactly what bothered us about the other. Always before, he had to have the last word... which usually ended up with me being silenced. It wasn't even two minutes ago that I typed delete, then my password, and my char was gone forever that we had another argument; but I can't remember who had the last word, and I don't really care, either.
I know that I didn't handle the situation as well as someone older than me could have. But I don't know how to leave a bad situation. Some of you are going to give me odd looks, and think, "Just leave. Pack your bags and go." But it isn't that easy. There are human emotions involved, greed and lust and envy and that ever constant, "Am I doing the right thing?" feeling, deep in the pit of your stomach. But, today, I am proud to say that I walked away from something bad.
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Old 07-28-2002, 04:27 AM   #2
Ytrewtsu
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In my experiences in life, I have found it rather difficult to leave situations that are bad for me however when I have done exactly that and left what I thought I loved behind I have found better things down the road. I personally believe this applies to muds as well as to life and I think it is likely that you will eventually find your place on a mud that is perfect for you (admin, storyline, rp).

Now I know this is a trite saying but it is still true. Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

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Old 07-28-2002, 05:06 AM   #3
erdos
 
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Alajha wrote:

"I've been kicked off of about three MUD's now, because I knew that I had to leave and I couldn't bring myself to type "delete <password>" and just leave."

They kicked you off, because you refused to leave by yourself...?  it doesnt sound like you lost very much.

Excuse me for going off on a tangent:  I am of the opinion that the common "delete" command should not even be on a MUD.  It seems to me to fall into a list of somewhat lame code snippets that people install purely for the sake of having "custom" code (though of course, it comes with some codebases).  Why must you delete your player to leave the game?  Just leave.. stop logging on, and it doesn't matter if those few kilobytes remain on the hard drive of FacelessCorporation MudHosting Server Inc.'s 12th computer.  Allowing players to delete their characters makes a subtle, silent statement about the game's quality:  if the game were of outstanding high quality, then there would be an issue with people getting deleted without their consent by others who somehow get their password.  Thus when the delete command is so easily accessible it sends the subtle message, "this game is not outstandingly important".

As for people who want to start over so they can recycle their name...  that's really tough (sarcasm).  The only person who can really justify NEEDING to keep their name would be an RPer... to whom there would be less need to start over, unless the MUD had a ton of special RP code.
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Old 07-28-2002, 11:25 AM   #4
Alajha
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I was eventually kicked off because I couldn't bring myself to leave a bad MUD that was steadily getting worse and worse and worse, and then it got so bad that they just deleted me for myself....
I had to delete my character. I had to know that I could walk away from this on my own. It would have been easy, to just leave my char and not come back. But I'm much happier that I stood up, told them I was leaving, and left. And there will be no going back.
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Old 12-30-2003, 03:51 PM   #5
Badger
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One of my worst mud experiences had to be when i was on and my computer was freezy, so it shut down when i was in the middle of talking to a guy. this not only ****ed off the guy i was talking to, but one of the gods thought i was idling (but i was just talking to this guy for a while) so he impounded my char while i was link dead when i reconnected , it turned out my char had been deleted, because i didnt say anything while i was linkdead and that ticked off the god even more. even though my char was restored, i stopped playing, i immortal shouldnt be so harsh and quick to punish.
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