Oh well... These things never seem to get further than about 4 pages, but such is life.
Once upon a time, in the Orifice Ore Mines under the Blue Mountain, there lived a little dwarf named Dave. Dave was a lonely little dwarf for he had no friends. His only friend was his...

..mining pick. Each day at lunch time, he and his mining pick would find a secluded corner of the mine and discuss...

various types of ore. But one day Dave met a lady dwarf named Wenda, and he fell in love with her.

But..the pick was jealous. Mostly because his buddy had found someone and just that morning, a neighboring pail told him not if he was the last hand tool in the realm. He, the pick, was a sad pick. The next week..

...Wenda was found missing and the pick lying in its usual corner, stained with blood. When Dave and the other dwarves found this out...

The blood-covered pick plead his case to the angry dwarves, as he was actually innocent, and was being framed, and guided them to "The Tavern of..."

who-gives-a-crap. The innkeeper looked up from his seat and walked up to the travellers...

and said "How do you do? My name is

immaterial." Dave said "Is it? That's a pretty name." The dwarves roared with laughter and then asked the innkeeper if they knew of a dwarf named Wenda. In answer to this...

"WHO GIVES A CRAP" the innkeeper roared at the top of his lungs. The drawves stared in disbelief but then decided to...

enjoy a few pints of ale. Just then, a loud cry was heard, coming from outside, they all bolted for the door, only to discover...

That there was a damsel in distress, but too many knights, and they couldn't decide who would do the rescue. Carl, the smartest of the dwarves advised the knights to

leap into the Flaming Pit of Fire and decide in there. The knights, being rather stupid, followed orders and all died. "Ha ha!" said Carl, "Now we can rescue the damsel and get all the credit!" And so the dwarves set off for...

the Who-Gives-A-Crap Tower. The journey took 7 days and 7 nights, and on the seventh day, when the tower was in view, the thief-dwarf, Spoon, noticed that

...Dave was standing at the bottom glaring grimly up at the dwarf rescue team that had abandoned their quest to find Wenda and with a cry, hurled his sentient (and rather TICKED) pick with great force to wreak havoc among the rescuers gone thief....

...but completely failed to hit any of them with it. The thieves turned and poked Dave with their axes until he cried. In retaliation, Dave...

..threw a Clueless Newbie at them! The Newbie yammered on and on with questions like "What's a help file?" "What do you mean I'm a 'Murderer'? So and so emoted a slap to my face so I killed him!" and such. The dwarves covered their now bleeding ears. The inane chatter grew more and more intenst until the dwarven leader..

named Wenlin wondered why The Vorpal Tribble assumed that all the dwarves were thieves when Spoon still prefered to be called a "rogue". Anyway, with Wenlin's reasoning, they marched on toward the tower, but they had to cross a moat which contained

a writhing bunch of Gummi worms. It was soon discovered that it was the moat that was moving to make the jellyish confectionary appear to be writhing, so the dwarves

squealed in delight and leapt into the flowing river of gummi goodness. All except Dave, that is, who was on a diet and didn't like gummi worms anyway. It was a lucky thing, because at that moment...

...the Borg materialized all about in wavy green light and pointed their twitching and rotating mechanical arms at the pool of dwarves and gummi worms and intoned emotionlessly, "You will be assimulated. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over." The dwarves looked up from the worms in surprise and...

began singing "Hi ho, hi ho..." The Borg were not impressed, however, and prompty assimilated them all. Luckily they didn't notice Dave because he was very short- even for a dwarf. All alone, Dave had no choice but to

repress his inner desire to leave all his friends assimilated because then he'd be the king of their mountain home. Shaking his head, he decided to save them so they'd all buy him lots of mead so then he...

...tore off his clothes and performed, in the nude, scenes from Silmarillion: The Musical. The Borg froze in midstride and screamed in horror as they rapidly transported themselves back to their ship. The dwarves glanced at each other in bewilderment and then at Dave...

and screamed, because they'd never realised that below all that hard leather armor, Dave was actually a lady dwarf! They shrieked in horror as parts of Dave jiggled which they'd never seen jiggle on a dwarf before. In fear, they leapt back into the moat...

Unfortunately for them, the gummi worms were actually brightly colored, undead leaches.  The leaches proceeded to devour Dave's dwarven posse.  Dave, being terribly terrified and alergic to leaches, decided to ditch the others and his body suit which he wore for comfort reasons (meaning Dave is still a male) and the damsel in destress and continue on the search for Wenlin..

But then, suddenly, a flash-fire burned down everything in sight. The fire spread across the entire universe, wiping the whole thing out. It was then decided by the higher beings that continuing story posts should be posted on 'The FINAL continuing story' thread rather than this one.

The end.