ok, let's try it again:

Once upon a time, in a land long forgotten, there was a half-elven lass named...

Wufflikins. She made up for the embarressment of this by training herself well in the arts of...

Needlepoint.  One day she was working on a large cushion cover when suddenly, ...

she realised that she'd sewn the wrong fabric onto it! In her rage, she ripped the cushion to shreds and threw it at...

the trash, but then she remembered that the cushion was to be delivered to the king by nightfall! in much trouble, Wufflikins...
(by the way, strange name)

travelled to the cushion shop and bought one, which she then delivered to the king. His reaction was...

he thought it was so amazing he appointed Wufflikins to the post of Royal Seamstress and immediately set her an highly urgent but near impossible task:

repairing his trousers. Unfortunately Wufflikins could see that the king's powerful fart had torn them beyond repair, so she set out to...

find the fabled fart-hole-fixer! who unfortunately is a dog! so she then...

sought the Holy Dog Biscuit of Numminess, found only in the Sacred Cave atop Snowy Mountain. As she prepared for her trek...

She found that she got all the supplies she needed from the king, because he is gullible beyond belief. Wufflikins packed...

some butter toffees and an exclamation sign and took off. in her way she encountered...

a giant squirrel, who was crying. He said "Help me" but nobody heard him because of the lack of punctuation. Wufflikins gave him the exclamation mark and, with a yell of "Thanks!" he bounded away...

... but first he gave her a magical nut, "eat this nut while you are thinking of something and you can sniff its location. It can locate anything except milkshakes cause the creator of this nut is tired of seeing milkshakes appearing" and rushed on to the woods. Wuffikins then...

thought of the fabled fart-hole fixer, and the disgusting smell of a wet dog filled her nostrils. Wuffikins then started on her journey to "sniff" out the dog. On her way she...

...met a wandering Throbbit, who told her "If you will help us find the Legendary Lost Holy Milkshake, we will tell you where the fart-hole-fixing dog lives. Wufflikins, who never thought much of Throbbits had other ideas, and said...

"Ooga-booga." This confused the Throbbit and he ran away in fear to find someone else to help him. Wufflikins then continued to search for the dog...

and ran into a throng of throbbits. They all stood in a line and wore crazy hats. One stepped forward and said "If you're looking for the fart-hole-fixer you must fulfill a quest for us or you will not proceed any farther". Wufflikins then...

decided that she might as well fulfil this quest, as she could see that these throbbits weren't going to get out of her way. "What must I do?" she sighed wearily, to which the throbbits replied...

[EDIT: Typos.]

One of the Throbbits stepped up and spoke with a Brooklyn accent. "First, ya have to find us the big cheese, see... Find us the cheese, or will make you sleep wit the..." One of the other throbbits thawpped the Brooklyn accented one, and said...

... "sory, the dunce of the tribe, the real quest to do is...

OOC/ No milkshakes please

...to deliver the One Fish to the frying pan of Rodrom, where it shall be flash-fried." Wufflikins thought this quest sounded too familiar and...

Accepted the quest regretfully (because she didn't like the Lord of the Rings). She asked where she could find this "One Fish" and the Throbbits replied...

OOC/What? why no milkshakes? hehe

"We are unsure. Legend states that a creature named Gollbum has it, but he has slipped into hiding." Wufflikins was getting annoyed with this almost-breach of copyright and decided the best thing to do was...

To take the butter toffees she was given by the king and turning her back to the throbbits, nibbled away at the toffee to make it look like a fish. Wufflikins then turned around and handed the toffee to the throbbits to which they replied...

"oh lord, but if it is nothing but the Two Fish! we thought it dissapeared from existence; this is great, if you to deliver the Two Fish to the frying pan of Rodrom, where it shall be flash-fried. it will cause double the effect of the One Fish. Hurry, the path is long. Wuffikins then...

OOC/cause in the last story we were assaulted by "I want a strawberry milkshake" for too much...

left the Throbbits to go to Rodrom alone, as they could obviously look after themselves. She was continuing on her original quest when suddenly...

out of no where came four turtle and a rat whe then started to...

wonder why they were in the story. Nevertheless, Wufflikins adored turtles, and she bent down to pet one of them. But the turtle...

it transformated into the fire-breathing dog, holder of the legendary fart-hole fixer, Wuffikins...

squealed like a little girl and kicked it in the face. The dog, confused and frightened, ran away in terror, leaving Wufflikins to...

... take the fart-hole fixer, when suddenly...

santrilla came and hugged....

it went off fixing his fart hole, at the same time.....

the dog returned, after remembering that, after all, it had fire-breathing powers (or at least doggie version of it). The dog faced Wufflikins, drew a deep breath and...

...forgot what it was doing. For Santrilla had cursed it with temporary amnesia. The dog looked around, embarressed, and then slunk off to a dark cave somewhere. Meanwhile, Wufflikins nabbed the farthole fixer, stuffed it in her satchel and made towards the kingdom...

...having totally forgotten that according to the 9th post of page 1 by Valarauko, it was the DOG who was the true farthole fixer, and that the farthole fixing implement now safely tucked away in her satchel was completely useless without the instructions. Fortunately, she did remember the bit about the holy dog biscuit of Numminess, and...

looked in her satchel finding it emply with a hole in the bottom, haveing back tracked she came upon a big mean slime ridden zombie who......

cursed WUfflikins for her forgetfulness and began lurching towards her. Fortunately, Wufflikins still had her...

... the butter tofee shaped like the Two Fish, he screamed a battle cry, then said "in the name of the Two Fish, begone foul fiend", and then she threw the tofee to the zombie. Surprisingly....

the zombie broke down and started crying. When Wufflikins asked the zombie what was wrong the zombie said his ex-boyfriend loved tofee and that...

...he had been turned to mouldy dust by the fire-breathing dragon living in Mount Ve-what-i-cuss. "Only the One Fish can restore my ex!" cried the heart-broken zombie.
Whufflikins, resigned to the presence of the One Fish, set off to find it and...

...started to think. That zombie was pretty hot! So Whufflikins turned on his heels and...

...paused to ponder his sudden change in gender...