MUD Humor

anathema · 08-27-2002, 10:04 PM

The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough.
The tiny nervous male puck bangs his head against the large painted door.
The tiny nervous male puck tried, but failed to run away.
The tiny nervous male puck bangs his head against the large painted door.
The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough.
The tiny nervous male puck tried, but failed to run away.
You massacre the left spindly arm of the tiny nervous male puck with your
dagger.
The tiny nervous male puck's wounds start to bleed.
You smash the abdomen of the tiny nervous male puck with your dagger.

The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough.
The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough.
The tiny nervous male puck bangs his head against the large painted door.
The tiny nervous male puck tried, but failed to run away.
The tiny nervous male puck's wounds stopped bleeding.
The tiny nervous male puck falls unconscious.

Ruobhe · 08-28-2002, 04:38 PM

anathema · 08-30-2002, 10:02 PM

Dionae · 08-30-2002, 10:20 PM

Courtesy of Melopene...

Adaemir turns to Elelia.
In elven, Adaemir says 'I look forward to speaking to you again, Elelia.'
Elelia smiles slightly and nods.
In elven, Elelia says 'And i you ..'
Adaemir whistles happily as he walks out of the room.... blowing his lute now and then to add effect.
Adaemir leaves up.
Adaemir has arrived.
Adaemir says, 'That was the closet.'
Pengolod snickers softly.
Adaemir leaves west.

And this is not so much humorous, as it is me feeling very lucky...

<769/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room>
Ikawa parries your slash.
Your slash DISEMBOWELS Ikawa!
A short-sword named "Marrow" draws life from Ikawa.
Your slash misses Ikawa.
Displaying incredible agility, you dodge Ikawa's sting!
Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you!
You sure are BLEEDING!
Ikawa waves his arms and utters the words, 'umbral turba'.
Ikawa summons forth a horde of shimmering shapes.
Ikawa's horde does **** UNBELIEVABLE **** things to you!
You sure are BLEEDING!
Ikawa is in awful condition.

<449/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> flee w
PANIC! You couldn't escape!
Ikawa is in awful condition.

<449/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room>
Ikawa parries your slash.
Your slash MASSACRES Ikawa!
A short-sword named "Marrow" draws life from Ikawa.
Ikawa parries your slash.
Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you!
You sure are BLEEDING!
You are carrying too much weight.
You are carrying too much weight.
PANIC! You couldn't escape!
Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you!
You sure are BLEEDING!
You are carrying too much weight.
PANIC! You couldn't escape!
Ikawa is in awful condition.

<274/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> c bone
A storm of bone shards flies at Ikawa.
A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa.
Your bone dart maims Ikawa!
A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa.
Your bone dart *** DEVASTATES *** Ikawa!
A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa.
Your bone dart maims Ikawa!
A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa.
Your bone dart *** DEVASTATES *** Ikawa!
Ikawa is in awful condition.

<274/2826hp 1453/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> flee w
Ikawa turns your slash aside with his weapon.
Your slash *** DEMOLISHES *** Ikawa!
A short-sword named "Marrow" draws life from Ikawa.
Displaying incredible agility, Ikawa dodges your slash!
Rolling just in time, Ikawa dodges your slash.
Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you!
You sure are BLEEDING!
You are carrying too much weight.
You are carrying too much weight.
You are carrying too much weight.
PANIC! You couldn't escape!
Displaying incredible agility, you dodge Ikawa's sting!
Rolling just in time, you dodge Ikawa's sting.
Ikawa is in awful condition.

<192/2826hp 1453/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> You are carrying too much weight.
You are carrying too much weight.
PANIC! You couldn't escape!
Ikawa is in awful condition.

<192/2826hp 1453/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> c bone
A storm of bone shards flies at Ikawa.
A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa.
Your bone dart MUTILATES Ikawa!
A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa.
Your bone dart maims Ikawa!
A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa.
Your bone dart maims Ikawa!
Ikawa is DEAD!!
You receive 150 experience points.
You hear Ikawa's death cry.

anathema · 09-03-2002, 07:36 AM

Xyllomer is the home to many escape and movement inhibiting doors. I am not sure what it is about them, but they always crack me up.

Pp bends down to the lock and starts to work on it.
Satai thunders in xyllic: door
Click!
Pp unlocks the door.
Satai bangs his head against the door.
Pp opens a door.
Pp smiles.
Satai grins evilly.
Satai goes forward.

Ogma · 09-03-2002, 01:55 PM

Okay, I don't get it. How many times do you have to Obliterate, Devastate or Massacre someone before they die? It seems like just one of these should pretty much do it.

Dionae · 09-04-2002, 02:14 AM

I don't get it either. :) I can be hacked at with a sword, or smashed with a hammer all day, and then all I have to do is sleep and I'm miraculously better. *snicker* Such is the way of things on most muds... It's not exactly realistic, but then I can name several other things which are not realistic as well. I suppose it just depends on how much you mix the "game" element with the "roleplay" element.

Jazuela · 09-04-2002, 08:13 AM

It's just the emits I don't get. Words like that belong on a death crit, not just an injury that doesn't even knock you down or render you unconscious.

I think whoever created the emits was just impressed with the words and stuck them in the attack emits so that every time someone was in combat he could point to the log and say "See that? That was MY work!"

Very short-sighted, if you ask me.

anathema · 09-04-2002, 05:18 PM

Not even death can assist in an escape sometimes.

backstab grimlock
You sneak behind the angry pale neuter grimlock.
The angry pale neuter grimlock falls unconscious.
The angry pale neuter grimlock died.
You succeed, you place your weapon deep into the angry male neuter grimlock ghost's back!
The angry pale neuter grimlock ghost leaves away.

Dionae · 09-09-2002, 08:15 AM

Corlan tips his mouseskin hat to all, then glances over at you as he leaves north.
Corlan loses control and falls off of a knabstrup horse.
Corlan stands up.
Corlan hops on a knabstrup horse's back.
Corlan leaves north, riding on a knabstrup horse.
Aethal intones solemnly, ' now that was an "exit"
Aethal giggles.

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08-27-2002, 10:04 PM	#1
anathema New Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 12	The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough. The tiny nervous male puck bangs his head against the large painted door. The tiny nervous male puck tried, but failed to run away. The tiny nervous male puck bangs his head against the large painted door. The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough. The tiny nervous male puck tried, but failed to run away. You massacre the left spindly arm of the tiny nervous male puck with your dagger. The tiny nervous male puck's wounds start to bleed. You smash the abdomen of the tiny nervous male puck with your dagger. The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough. The tiny nervous male puck tries to escape, but you are quick enough. The tiny nervous male puck bangs his head against the large painted door. The tiny nervous male puck tried, but failed to run away. The tiny nervous male puck's wounds stopped bleeding. The tiny nervous male puck falls unconscious.

08-28-2002, 04:38 PM	#2
Ruobhe Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 68

08-30-2002, 10:02 PM	#3
anathema New Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 12

08-30-2002, 10:20 PM	#4
Dionae Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Littleton, CO, US Posts: 123	Courtesy of Melopene... Adaemir turns to Elelia. In elven, Adaemir says 'I look forward to speaking to you again, Elelia.' Elelia smiles slightly and nods. In elven, Elelia says 'And i you ..' Adaemir whistles happily as he walks out of the room.... blowing his lute now and then to add effect. Adaemir leaves up. Adaemir has arrived. Adaemir says, 'That was the closet.' Pengolod snickers softly. Adaemir leaves west. And this is not so much humorous, as it is me feeling very lucky... <769/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> Ikawa parries your slash. Your slash DISEMBOWELS Ikawa! A short-sword named "Marrow" draws life from Ikawa. Your slash misses Ikawa. Displaying incredible agility, you dodge Ikawa's sting! Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you! You sure are BLEEDING! Ikawa waves his arms and utters the words, 'umbral turba'. Ikawa summons forth a horde of shimmering shapes. Ikawa's horde does ** UNBELIEVABLE things to you! You sure are BLEEDING! Ikawa is in awful condition. <449/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> flee w PANIC! You couldn't escape! Ikawa is in awful condition. <449/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> Ikawa parries your slash. Your slash MASSACRES Ikawa! A short-sword named "Marrow" draws life from Ikawa. Ikawa parries your slash. Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you! You sure are BLEEDING! You are carrying too much weight. You are carrying too much weight. PANIC! You couldn't escape! Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you! You sure are BLEEDING! You are carrying too much weight. PANIC! You couldn't escape! Ikawa is in awful condition. <274/2826hp 1483/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> c bone A storm of bone shards flies at Ikawa. A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa. Your bone dart maims Ikawa! A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa. Your bone dart * DEVASTATES * Ikawa! A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa. Your bone dart maims Ikawa! A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa. Your bone dart * DEVASTATES * Ikawa! Ikawa is in awful condition. <274/2826hp 1453/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> flee w Ikawa turns your slash aside with his weapon. Your slash * DEMOLISHES *** Ikawa! A short-sword named "Marrow" draws life from Ikawa. Displaying incredible agility, Ikawa dodges your slash! Rolling just in time, Ikawa dodges your slash. Ikawa's sting === OBLITERATES === you! You sure are BLEEDING! You are carrying too much weight. You are carrying too much weight. You are carrying too much weight. PANIC! You couldn't escape! Displaying incredible agility, you dodge Ikawa's sting! Rolling just in time, you dodge Ikawa's sting. Ikawa is in awful condition. <192/2826hp 1453/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> You are carrying too much weight. You are carrying too much weight. PANIC! You couldn't escape! Ikawa is in awful condition. <192/2826hp 1453/1970m 986/986mv Ikawa's Room> c bone A storm of bone shards flies at Ikawa. A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa. Your bone dart MUTILATES Ikawa! A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa. Your bone dart maims Ikawa! A storm of bone darts flies at Ikawa. Your bone dart maims Ikawa! Ikawa is DEAD!! You receive 150 experience points. You hear Ikawa's death cry.

09-03-2002, 07:36 AM	#5
anathema New Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 12	Xyllomer is the home to many escape and movement inhibiting doors. I am not sure what it is about them, but they always crack me up. Pp bends down to the lock and starts to work on it. Satai thunders in xyllic: door Click! Pp unlocks the door. Satai bangs his head against the door. Pp opens a door. Pp smiles. Satai grins evilly. Satai goes forward.

09-03-2002, 01:55 PM	#6
Ogma Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Home MUD: DartMUD Posts: 86	Okay, I don't get it. How many times do you have to Obliterate, Devastate or Massacre someone before they die? It seems like just one of these should pretty much do it.

09-04-2002, 02:14 AM	#7
Dionae Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Littleton, CO, US Posts: 123	I don't get it either. :) I can be hacked at with a sword, or smashed with a hammer all day, and then all I have to do is sleep and I'm miraculously better. snicker Such is the way of things on most muds... It's not exactly realistic, but then I can name several other things which are not realistic as well. I suppose it just depends on how much you mix the "game" element with the "roleplay" element.

09-04-2002, 08:13 AM	#8
Jazuela Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New England Posts: 849	It's just the emits I don't get. Words like that belong on a death crit, not just an injury that doesn't even knock you down or render you unconscious. I think whoever created the emits was just impressed with the words and stuck them in the attack emits so that every time someone was in combat he could point to the log and say "See that? That was MY work!" Very short-sighted, if you ask me.

09-04-2002, 05:18 PM	#9
anathema New Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 12	Not even death can assist in an escape sometimes. backstab grimlock You sneak behind the angry pale neuter grimlock. The angry pale neuter grimlock falls unconscious. The angry pale neuter grimlock died. You succeed, you place your weapon deep into the angry male neuter grimlock ghost's back! The angry pale neuter grimlock ghost leaves away.

09-09-2002, 08:15 AM	#10
Dionae Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Littleton, CO, US Posts: 123	Corlan tips his mouseskin hat to all, then glances over at you as he leaves north. Corlan loses control and falls off of a knabstrup horse. Corlan stands up. Corlan hops on a knabstrup horse's back. Corlan leaves north, riding on a knabstrup horse. Aethal intones solemnly, ' now that was an "exit" Aethal giggles.

MUD Humor

Great Escapes gone bad!